


Growing Tea and Growing Up

by TeaPlant



Category: InuYasha - A Feudal Fairy Tale
Genre: Age Difference, Aged-Up Character(s), Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Eventual Romance, F/M, Introspection, Personal Growth, Romance, Slow Build, Slow Burn, Slow Romance, Time Skips
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-10-08
Updated: 2020-11-24
Packaged: 2021-03-07 21:47:38
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 11
Words: 15,364
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26894689
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/TeaPlant/pseuds/TeaPlant
Summary: Following a chance encounter with an orphaned girl named Rin, new farm owner Sesshomaru finds himself considering the needs of another for the first time in his life. Realising that he is not in a position to provide for those needs, he feels compelled to separate himself from Rin, for both her sake and his own.
Relationships: Higurashi Kagome/InuYasha, Rin & Sesshoumaru (InuYasha), Rin/Sesshoumaru (InuYasha)
Comments: 48
Kudos: 100





	1. Encounter

Sesshomaru can barely breathe. 

He gasps for air, having dragged himself for the past few hours, away from the Taisho family estate, away from his shame, away from his brother. His left arm trembles with searing pain, although looking at it now, the bleeding has stopped. The sword pierced, rather than sliced at his arm. While Inuyasha had just barely missed cutting him on his first try, he did manage to leave a serious wound on his upper left arm by stabbing it when he tried again. Sesshomaru cannot move his arm without a new wave of pain crashing over him, and he is aware that he needs to find his way back to his house.

He needs medical care. He is only human, after all.

But in his current situation, with laboured breathing and fever-induced sweat dripping down his face, he cannot stand on his feet, let alone to walk all the way back to his estate. He has been walking towards its general direction for some time, but as he made his way through the forest, he finally collapsed.

So he sits here, lying in the shade of a magnolia tree.

Sesshomaru struggles to retain his consciousness and opens his eyes. He sits still, his gaze turned towards the tree canopy above him. He watches the leaves swaying to the wind's tune, the late-afternoon breeze biting away at his skin. A thin cotton shirt not enough to shield him from it. Unable to move, he is stuck here, a reluctant bystander to the passing of time. Wasting precious seconds, minutes, hours of his life. But this is insignificant compared to the years of his life that he wasted away in the years preceding the reading of his father's will. 

Wasting time seems to be a particular gift of his. Even as a young teen, he was eager to show his father his superiority over his illegitimate half-brother. Wasting time working as hard as he could to remain superior to his competition, be it his classmates, his peers, his half-brother. He wasted all his spare time in his teens to graduate his degrees early, and despite his father dying in his final year of his Bachelor’s, he ensured that he would graduate from his Master’s at the top of his class. He wasted his summers interning at the biggest food conglomerates and wagyu farms across the country, so he would be more than qualified to run his father's wagyu farm. He was certain that it was only be a matter of time for him to take over the Taisho family estate, as his father’s will would be read when Inuyasha would turn 18 -

Sound of rustling leaves in a bush snaps him from his reverie and warns him of a new presence just beyond his line of sight. Sesshomaru is suddenly aware that someone from Inuyasha’s estate might have caught up with him.

_Perhaps even Inuyasha, he is certainly angry and reckless enough to follow me._

He hears another rustle coming from the bushes almost next to him. He sees the top of a black-haired head peeking from behind it. It surfaces slowly in his line of sight, and soon big brown eyes on a dirty face stare back at him apprehensively. It takes him a second to recover from shock, then he glares at the intruder - a raggedy little girl. Slumping back against the tree trunk, he groans because of the now-inflamed wound on his arm.

The girl stands there for another few seconds, silently watching him. Her footsteps recede and the rustling of leaves and bushes fade further away from him. He lets out a breath he isn't even aware he is holding in, and even that slight motion makes it difficult for him to remain aware. Drifting back into a semi-conscious state, only his thoughts exist, and his vision, sounds and feelings cease altogether. He is growing weaker. The day will soon be over, and he needs to find his way back to his estate soon in order to receive medical attention.

_My estate._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is my first fanfic.  
> First two chapters are mostly exposition through narrated flashbacks, so please bear with me.


	2. Inheritance

Inuyasha's birthday was conveniently only a week after his graduation ceremony, and Sesshomaru had returned to the countryside just in time to head over to the study of Totosai for the reading of his father's will. That was 2 weeks ago. Sesshomaru was well aware that his father's mistress Izayoi and his illegitimate half-brother Inuyasha, had continued to live on his father's estate Tessaiga, even after his father’s death. He expected a small proportion of the Taisho wealth to be left to Inuyasha. What he did not expect was for Inuyasha to inherit Tessaiga, the Taisho’s family main source of wealth, as well as most of their father's cash reserves.

The only thing left was for Sesshomaru was the Tensaiga estate, which would have been well-suited for the inheritance of a bastard child - but for himself?

_ Nothing but a meager tea farm. _

Sesshomaru is a prime example of what the best breeding and wealth could offer, the acme of a long line of wealthy land-owners, descendants from old aristocracy. All the years, all the hard work to prove himself as worthy, as superior, as the perfect son and the next owner of Tessaiga - all of them were wasted. He knows next to nothing about tea beyond enjoying the occasional cup in the afternoon. He is not even sure why his father had bought the old tea farm on the land adjoining Tessaiga, as it struggled to make a profit.

Izayoi and Inuyasha were as shocked by the inheritance just as he was, and Izayoi had broken down with tears of joy, with Inuyasha holding on to her, while casting guarded glances to Sesshomaru. 

_ At least that pathetic excuse of a half-brother realised the severity of our father’s decision. Did he have his full mental capacities when drafting the will? I will need to discuss this with Totosai immediately. _

Once the initial shock wore off, Sesshomaru simply stood up from his chair and walked out of the office. He did not care for Totosai's endless ramblings about the next proceedings to take ownership over the pitiful excuse of an estate. As he slammed the door as he got in his car, he did not care for Jaken's cries to slow down for him to catch up, and he certainly did not care about his phone's incessant ringing, knowing that the caller was none other than his mother. Insufferable hag. Knowing her, she was probably aware of the contents of his father's will and his plans for inheritance. Despite their separation, his father had remained surprisingly close to his mother, and she was fully aware of all the internal runnings of his father's financial affairs. Why was she even calling him, if she already knew the outcome? Was she calling to tease him? Comfort him? 

_ How ridiculous. _

He drove straight to the damned estate that he was now owner of. Old Asano, who he recalled as being in charge of managing the day to day operations of Tensaiga, was there to welcome him by the entrance of the old traditional-style mansion. It was as if he had been warned beforehand that Sesshomaru would show up on the day. The stern old man gathered his courage for a few seconds and started congratulating Sesshomaru on inheriting Tensaiga. Sesshomaru briefly wondered if he was being sarcastic, as everyone in the near vicinity knew of Tessaiga being the biggest wagyu farm in the country and the main source of income in the Taisho family - and he just lost that inheritance. He glared at the old man and turned, so it came as no surprise that Asano's voice trembled a little as he trailed after Sesshomaru, with Jaken in tow. He rambled on to the younger man about his own responsibilities and making himself available for anything that might be required of him, all things Sesshomaru had no interest in. 

After dismissing the pest and being led by one of the servants to a bedroom - this was not his home, so it was not his room - Sesshomaru promptly slammed the door into Jaken's face and proceeded to take a very cold shower. 

_ What was Father thinking? _

Over the following two weeks, Sesshomaru discovered a new way of wasting time - drinking sake and sleeping. His thoughts kept going back over and over why his father would choose to leave everything to Inuyasha? Why would his father be certain that a brainless, reckless 16 year old Inuyasha would be a better fit to run his estate and farm? Surely this position was best suited for his legitimate son, who at only 19, was just about to finish his Bachelor's degree. Was it because they were estranged? It was not his choice to be raised by his mother and was sent off to boarding schools for as long as he could remember. He suspected that could be it. Inuyasha was the son of his father's mistress and he was raised on the farm on the Tessaiga estate. He had all the attention and love of their father. Sesshomaru supposed that in a way, despite his illegitimacy, Inuyasha was more his father's son than he would ever be. Inuyasha was part of the family that Toga had created for himself after the failure of his arranged marriage. 

_ But breaking a centuries old family line and passing on the estate to his bastard son and his obnoxious bitch?  _

Toga and his mother were not even divorced, yet Izayoi was all happy to swoop in as soon as his parents had separated. Toga allowed her to spawn a son, despite the blemish this would leave on the reputation of the Taisho family. His great and honourable father was ruined by that commoner woman, who ensnared him and gripped him tightly in her claws. And now their family's reputation is irreparably damaged and the family line of old aristocracy is forever broken. Tessaiga steered by an illegitimate commoner.

It was these thoughts, along with an undetermined amount of sake, that drove Sesshomaru to Tessaiga and demand to see Inuyasha and his mother. Bringing along an old but surprisingly sharp sword that he found in his father’s study. After some insults to Izayoi's honour, Sesshomaru had grabbed her by her hair, Inuyasha was all too eager to pick up a sword of his own, and aim and slash at Sesshomaru. When that failed, the reckless teenager stabbed at him with his sword, inflicting enough damage to the arm that Sesshomaru used to hold Izayoi that all strength left him and blood quickly pooled at his feet. 

Abruptly awakening from his drunken trance, Sesshomaru groaned and heard Izayoi’s cries as she tumbled on the floor. Disgusted with himself for having allowed this lapse in judgement, he fled. He fled by foot, through the garden outside the modern mansion, through the farm, all the way to the forest separating their estates, and then some more.

_ What was I thinking? _

He is forced back into consciousness by the shock of cold water splashing his face. As soon as his eyes snap open, he beholds the same brown eyes from earlier staring at him. The ratty girl he saw earlier in the bushes is now leaning over him, one hand gingerly touching the shoulder where his wound is and the other holding an upside down now-empty container that is still dripping water. As Sesshomaru’s consciousness fades once more into darkness, he wonders if this ratty girl intends to rescue him. As if he is some wounded puppy. 

_ Could I be humiliated any further? _

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The flashback sequence is finished, so we're on current events from here on!


	3. Curiosity

Sesshomaru abruptly awakes to the excited chirps of the song birds overhead. 

A small, thin coat was draped over him - it looks like it skipped a few washes - and smells like it too. A handful of dirty mushrooms are laying on a large leaf next to him - they were not there before. He shakes that thought from his mind, he doesn’t have the energy to dwell on such trivial matters. Though his sweating had subsided while he was asleep, he is certain that he still has a fever. The pain that was dampened by adrenaline last night is more pronounced than before. His wound is swollen, constantly throbbing with a vigour that demanded his attention. Sesshomaru tries to slowly stand on his feet, but that burning pain erupts into a raging flame, as if it were ignited by gasoline, forcing him to remain still.

His attention is suddenly drawn once more to the bushes near the tree where he collapsed. The brown eyes are now cautiously emerging from behind a tree trunk. The scrawny, little girl slowly makes her way closer to him, and sets her water container on the forest floor, within his reach. For a brief second, he wonders if she would pour it over his head again, as if he were still asleep. Now that she is closer, he notices that her hair is matted with filth and her long-sleeve dress is stained. Her scarf was tightly wrapped around her neck, and her shoes were tattered and worn. 

Just as he wonders why she is dressed so thinly in this weather - spring hasn’t arrived properly - he quickly realises that the coat covering him is the same coat he saw on her the previous day. That thought makes him recall the previous time she visited him - being forced awake by the splashing of cold water on his face. At the memory, he glares at her, then turns his head away - as much as he can in his current state - deciding that she will go away if he ignores her. He is thirsty, but he won’t lower himself to be nursed by some brat.

After some time, the girl reluctantly moves away from him and leans against the trunk of a tree, allowing for few paces between them. She continues to openly stare at him and it unnerves him - he is not good with children, and in this moment, the last thing he wants is the company of one.

_ Or worse, her pity. _

Time passes and she starts shivering. Despite his gaze being set forward, away from her, he sees it from the corner of his eye. She draws her scarf closer to her neck and lifts it slightly higher to cover her cheeks and ears, and wider to cover the top of her shoulders. Her hands rub together for warmth, while her knees draw closer to her chest. All this time, her eyes continue to seek his own, but he is adamant about not returning her gaze. Mustering all the strength he has, he raises his right arm and slowly pulls away the dirty coat off of him - promptly tossing it away in the direction of the girl. She stares at it in confusion, then glances at him with a question in her eyes.

“I don’t need it.”

She hesitates for a moment longer and watches him for further movements. He is sure that in her previous life, she was a hawk. When he does not react, she slowly stands from her seat and picks up the discarded article - but not without throwing one last glance at him, with accusatory eyes. 

_ Is she offended because I refuse her help? _

She gives the coat a good shake, and then folds it over one of her arms, while slowly undoing the scarf around her neck. Her neck revealed, exposing the collarbones prominently emerging from under her skin. He previously noted that she looked raggedy, but seeing the severity of her state of malnutrition, he is shaken by it. A quiet gasp leaves him and his head turns to look directly at her. His face is indecipherable as she wraps her scarf tightly around her torso now and then puts on her coat, doing the mismatched buttons one by one.

There is a strange tightness in his chest as he sits there, considering how severely she is neglected. Her face is dirty, as are her clothes - the clothes are stained and smell. This kind of filth does not come from a day or two playing in the dirt, it is caked into her hair and clothes. This has been going on for a while. Thinking about it, it is odd that she is even here. What is a girl as young as her doing unaccompanied in a forest - for two days in a row? What were her parents thinking? People around these rural areas are often poor, uneducated and vicious - but he didn’t quite expect their lack of self- awareness and selfishness to be so great that they would neglect their children to this extent. 

As the moments pass, he grows enraged by the prospect of her situation, until he catches himself and wonders why he feels as if this is an affront to his own person. 

_ Is it because of my resentment towards my father's foolish decision? Its similarity to this girl’s neglect? _

He cannot help himself and curiosity prompts him to probe.

“Are you eating enough food?”

At this, she smiles.

Her smile is so bright, genuine, and unrestrained, in a way that only children can. It makes him uncomfortable to bear witness to her sudden happiness, and he finds it unbearable when he realises that he caused it. 

He decides to ignore these uncharted emotions and turns away from the sight of her smile. 

_ She did not answer my question. _

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Let me know your thoughts!


	4. Compassion

He realises that the mushrooms laid next to him must have been collected by her. She has not only relinquished her own coat to a stranger, but she also provided him with water and some pathetic attempt at food. Smiling when someone asks her if she’s getting enough food.

_ Is she just an idiot? _

After some unsuccessful attempts at trying to coax him into eating the mushrooms and berries, she finally relents and leaves. It doesn’t escape his notice that she has yet to speak, and he wonders if she is a mute. He considers it a good quality to have, rather than a flaw, which is why he was grateful when one of his own servants turned out to be a mute. Relishing in his solitude, Sesshomaru falls into a deep slumber. 

When he awakens in the late evening, he is covered by a thick, stained and itchy blanket. At least this one has no offensive smell. There are some berries on a leaf next to the mushrooms from earlier, and the full water container had been placed closer to him. He looks around and sees the girl curled up, sleeping against the side of the same tree trunk he is leaning against. He is tempted to push her away, but the sun is slowly setting and the winds are picking up again. Unlike the previous evening, he does not have a fever, so he welcomes the extra warmth.

_ It can’t be helped then. _

Fighting the protest from his left arm, he manages to edge closer to the girl. With his other arm, he pulls the blanket off to the side just enough to cover her with it. She stirs slightly in her sleep, but smiles and she scoots marginally closer to him. He lays back and takes several deep breaths to ease some of the pain caused by moving. The methodical breathing helps, and soon he finds himself drifting into sleep.

The peaceful morning is broken with the shrill voice of Jaken, waking Sesshomaru up. 

The girl jolts awake, anxiously looking towards the direction of the voice. With increasing worry, she looks down at him, concern in her eyes. Just as Jaken makes it to the small cleaning and sets eyes on the pair, Sesshomaru slowly sits up despite the pain. He will not be seen in such a vulnerable position by Jaken of all people. His pride won’t allow it.

“Sesshomaru-sama! I finally found you! I am so glad; I have been looking for you for so long, sir! No, wait, please don’t get up on my behalf! You are wounded, what happened?!”

“Jaken. Stop fretting, the wound is closed. Let’s go.”

“Ah, yes sir! Right this way, let’s go home, sir!

Home. The Tensaiga estate is not his home. It is his, but that does not make it a home. Just like the high-rise apartments he lived in for months at a time were not home, like his boarding schools were not home, like his university dorm was not home. He had places to live but no home at all. 

He slowly stands straighter and is about to leave, when he feels the now-familiar brown eyes following him with their gaze. He has a debt to pay for her attempts at kindness - even if they were unwelcomed and unrequested. He hesitates, but cannot stop himself from voicing what comes next.

“If you want food, you can come too.” 

Her eyes, a second ago so apprehensive, look confused, then brighten and the smile from earlier materialises on her face. She springs to her feet, clutching her blanket to her chest and quickly crosses the distance between them. She stops by his side, and looks up at him in untethered adoration. Something stirs inside him. The unwelcomed emotions return, so he turns to leave, second-guessing whether this is a good idea. 

But he already made so many bad decisions, what can possibly go wrong with this one?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> From here on, updates will be twice a week or so!


	5. Home

Jaken is silent as he opens the car door for Sesshomaru to get into the passenger seat, but once he notices the girl letting herself into the backseat, he huffs. Jaken makes a show of getting into the driver’s seat and once settled, he makes some comments about the smell and general state of the girl, but his remarks go unacknowledged. The drive to the estate is perfectly silent, but Jaken ruins it when he asks Sesshomaru who the girl is and why she is coming along. Sesshomaru simply ignores his questions, and instead orders for a doctor to meet them at the estate. The older man leaps into action and is preoccupied with making the necessary arrangements for the rest of the ride.

When they arrive, Sesshomaru promptly leaves the car and walks towards the old mansion without as much as a glance back. Much to Jaken’s surprise, the girl silently follows along, so he rushes to keep up with her behind his master. When they make it into the house, past the inner courtyard, Sesshomaru glances around. He sees a woman scurrying across the hallway, carrying a basket of laundry, so he turns towards her and calls for attention.

“Mirume.” 

At this, the middle aged woman stops, promptly sets down her basket and approaches her master. 

“This girl is in need of food, a good wash and fresh clothes.” 

As Sesshomaru motions towards Rin, the woman silently nods. Jaken’s mouth is now gaping, and it moves but no sounds come out of it. Sesshomaru ignores him, and turns to address his guest. 

“Go with her. She will see to your needs.”

The girl looks at him with uncertainty and then glances at the woman called Mirume. Tall and lean, with tan skin and long, black hair twisted into a side ponytail. Despite wearing a simple brown kimono with a tree branch pattern on it, she looks imposing, unyielding. When Mirume comes closer, the girl takes a step back and is about to turn to hide - but the woman smiles kindly and the girl relaxes. She returns the smile, and allows herself to be led away, down a narrow corridor.

Temporarily relieved of the burden of his debt, Sesshomaru begins to head to his bedroom to await for the medic to arrive. He pauses before the stairs leading to the upper floor and turns to Jaken.

“Jaken.”

“Y-Yes, Sesshomaru-sama!”

“The girl will need fresh clothing and shoes by the end of the day. A coat too.”

Sesshomaru ignores Jaken’s rambling and before the older man can answer, he retires for the evening. His body needs rest. 

The next time Sesshomaru sees the girl is early the following morning, just as he is heading for his breakfast. She is in the inner courtyard and Jaken is chastising her about some budding plants being trampled. Hair is unmatted, her face is clean and she’s wearing a new dress, coat and shoes. The girl notices him and runs towards him, blocking him in his path. She looks curiously at his arm sling for a few seconds, then lifts her gaze to his face, greeting him with a smile and spins around to show off her new clothes. His eyes soften momentarily. She notices, and it makes her smile even more and makes eye contact with him until he’s uncomfortable. He seeks to escape.

“I am heading for breakfast.” 

At this her smile drops a bit and she looks down to her belly, covering it with one hand. As if on cue, her stomach rumbles. 

“You haven’t had food this morning?” She shakes her head side to side. 

With a slight nod and a motion to follow him, Sesshomaru and the girl leave towards the traditional dining room. They arrive just as Mirume sets the table for his breakfast, so he asks the maid to bring an extra serving of food. They eat in silence, and he is grateful that for once, her attention is not on him. She stuffs her mouth eagerly, swallowing the food much too fast and her chopsticks glide across the dishes with unmatched speed.

“What is your name?”

She looks up at him, her mouth almost overflowing with food. She hesitates, looks around, then brings closer a small plate of soy sauce and inscribes in the liquid two characters.

“Rin.” She nods and she continues to eat, not even looking at him as he asks his next question. 

“And your family name?” She shrugs and she continues eating. 

Determined to get an answer, he briefly reaches out to touch the top of her chopsticks, making her pause. 

“Do you have a family name?” She nods and loads a heap of rice into her open mouth. 

_ Why did she shrug then? _ He feels his already limited patience slowly slipping away. 

“You have a family name but you don’t know it.” Much to his confusion, she shakes her head no. She dips her chopsticks into the soy sauce plate again, swirling it around in a circle. 

“So you know it, but can’t tell me… No, you can’t write it.” 

She nods her head enthusiastically for a few moments and resumes her eating, going for a piece of omelette. 

“You only know how to write your own name”. She nods yet again without sparing him a glance. 

It makes sense. She looks young, perhaps 5 or 6, and if her family have been neglecting her for a while, she wouldn’t have gone to school. 

“Where are your parents?”

She pauses mid-chew, her chopsticks hovering mid-air. She slowly shifts her gaze to him and he sees solemnity in her eyes. She blinks slowly then looks down at her lap. She sets her chopsticks on the table, ignoring the chopstick rest.

“Do you have any family to take care of you?”

Keeping her head down, she shakes her head in the negative. Then he sees them. Silent tears trailing their way down her cheeks, her eyes hidden from him behind her uneven fringe. He is at a loss of what to say, unease and another unwanted emotion coiling in his stomach. An orphan. 

He would later blame a concoction of painkillers given to him by his doctor, but he does not know where his next words come from.

“If you’d like, you can remain here. In this house, for as long as you want.”

At this, her head snaps upwards. Her eyes hold him captive while her mouth hangs open. Silence dances between them. After a few tense moments during which her eyes bore into his own, seeking to read his soul, a radiating smile rises on her face. 

He struggles to breathe normally. 

She has a home.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I know I said I will only post twice a week, but I had TWO whole comments today, so I was compelled to write more.


	6. Companion

Weeks fly by. 

A guest bedroom is given to Rin. Sesshomaru instructs Jaken to get her more clothing, a coat and a pair of boots. Jaken appears irritated with her presence, although it doesn’t escape Sesshomaru’s notice that Rin sometimes plays with dolls and a colouring set, despite the fact that he never instructed Jaken to purchase any. At first, she spends her days playing in the inner courtyard, helping Mirume prepare food, or assisting with chores. Her favourite pastime whenever she gets bored is to follow Jaken and curiously examine everything he is currently doing, driving him to often snap at her.

As spring comes in full swing, she spends an ever-increasing amount of time playing in the garden behind the house. Rin often runs out barefoot, with Jaken hot on her heels, shouting at her to put her shoes back on and return to reading practice. In an attempt to ease some of her inquisitive nature, Jaken took it upon himself to teach her how to read and write. The past several weeks of lessons have been successful, or so Jaken claims.

Sesshomaru no longer has time to wallow in self-pity. The first flush of tea needs to be harvested and despite the operations manager Asano being there to organise it as usual, this time Sesshomaru wants to oversee it. 

He spends his days in the library, learning all he can about growing tea, from tea varieties and their plantation and harvest, to processing and distributing it. He read about the culture surrounding it, consumer trends and preferences, marketing techniques and any type of articles he can get his hands on. He is determined to make this struggling farm into a profitable one. He learned from Asano that since his father’s death, instead of struggling to make a profit, the farm has actually been bleeding money. Sesshomaru dedicates all his time to learn everything about owning and managing a tea farm on short notice. His only breaks are his meals - breakfast and dinner, which he eats with Rin in companionable silence. Everything with her is in silence, the girl has yet to speak a word.

One evening, Sesshomaru walks into the dining room and sees Rin hovering over a thickly bound book, cross-referencing the characters in the book against some loose pieces of paper. She only briefly breaks her focus to smile and wave at him. When the food is brought over, she puts away the book and papers, giving Sesshomaru the opportunity to read the cover: “Rehabilitation of Rivers: Principles and Implementation.” 

_ Something tells me the topic is not Rin’s choice.  _

Later that week, Jaken comes to Sesshomaru’s study to inform him that the harvest has gone smoothly and the tea is being processed on the other side of the farm as they speak. Before they head to the processing facilities, Sesshomaru takes the opportunity to voice his concern.

“Regarding the books you give Rin to practice reading. They’re not suited for her age and purpose.”

Jaken is temporarily taken aback at the sudden topic change, though he quickly recovers. 

“Ah, I see! Well, yes, of course! I merely used the books that your father had in his study. It should make no difference - they’re all letters, and it will serve her well to be given a challenge!”

“The topics are dull, and the characters too complex for her. Get her children’s books.”

“If you say so - ah, but wait sir. The farm hand, old Kaguhana, mentioned that a few years ago some boxes were brought over from Tessaiga. They contain items from your childhood - things that had been stored until some time after your father’s death… Totosai himself came to drop them off.” He trailed off as he noticed the increasing glare of his master.

_ Why was I not told of this before? _

Sesshomaru felt his already limited patience slowly slipping away as Jaken panicked and started mumbling incoherently. “It doesn’t matter. How is this relevant now?”

“Well, among those belongings, there were books! In fact, most of the boxes were full of books and notebooks? I thought perhaps, since you mentioned acquiring books for Rin…”

“Go ahead, I have no use for them. You may leave.”

_ Why would Father keep such useless belongings?  _

Sesshomaru supposes that they were sent to Tessaiga by his mother. She moved constantly, never staying in the same country for more than a year. It simply wasn’t feasible to keep emotional keepsakes. It was how he learned early on to live with minimal belongings, always ready to pack and leave. But if these boxes were stored at his mother’s request, why were they taken to his estate at all, and without any prompting? 

The only logical answer is that the horrid mistress wanted to erase all traces of him from the family estate once his father was out of the picture. Sesshomaru would have done the same with Inuyasha’s items, but Sesshomaru felt self-righteous indignation at having Izayoi’s true colours showing so clearly. Vapid and self-interested, just as expected.

The weeks following the harvest gave Sesshomaru more time to spare and he spent that time relaxing in the study, with the sliding doors wide open towards the back garden, the breeze from the surrounding hills and mountains wafting in. There, he can often see Rin tending to some flowers or playing among them. He rarely interacts with the girl, leaving Jaken, and occasionally Mirume and Kaguhana, to care for her. The Nintojo couple are already busy tending the old mansion and garden, and he thinks it unwise to burden them further with childcare.

Rin’s new life suits her. Her bones do not stick out so prominently from under her skin, her hair has a healthy sheen, her skin is no longer sullen and gray, and the bags underneath her eyes are gone entirely. Thinking back about being the cause of Rin’s transformation makes Sesshomaru feel a sense of unease, almost as if this is an undeserved accomplishment. All his prior achievements were about him and what he could do for himself, never about what he could do for others. But this girl, with her smiles and flowers of gratitude, make him feel somehow guilty, an emotion he decides not to probe into any further.

They still have breakfasts and dinners together, but lately she has begun to come to his study during the day, bringing him tea and some sweets for herself. She would settle herself on the floor overlooking the blooming garden and start reading her books, occasionally with a snack in her hand. Sesshomaru grew to appreciate her company, though he finds it strange to develop a sense of companionship with someone so young.

One lazy afternoon, Sesshomaru gets up from his desk and opens the sliding doors towards the garden, stepping out onto the veranda. In the garden, Rin is helping Kaguhana and his wife Mirume, plant some unrecognizable flowers. Half-buried amongst the bushes, it takes Rin minutes before she notices Sesshomaru, but when she does, a smile brightens up her face. He’s grown more comfortable with her smiles, although they still leave him feeling out of sorts. She leaps up from the flower bushes and dashes towards the house, discarding her shoes at the bottom of the stairs. She runs up the stairs, along the veranda, and is about to step into the study when Sesshomaru speaks up.

“Rin, wash up your hands first.” This immediately stops her in her tracks, the abruptness almost comical. She gingerly backs away, then disappears quickly behind the corner.

It feels like seconds later that Rin reappears with clean hands, holding a platter with a small pot of tea, a tea cup, and a plate with pieces of mochi. Moving with great care along the veranda and into the study, her eyes are trained on the platter. She gently sets it down on the corner of his low desk, and meticulously pours tea into the cup, spilling some in the process. Once that’s done, she looks up to him expectantly.

“That is enough.” he says with a small nod, just as he picks up a few papers from his inbox pile.

Satisfied with Sesshomaru’s approval, Rin picks up her plate of mochi and walks away to the reading corner that she set up for herself. Settling down on her pillow, she places the plate on the tatami floor, and lifts her storybook.

Sesshomaru wonders again where this child came from. She has yet to express any desire in leaving, and nobody has come looking for her. He has been keeping tabs on missing children in the area and there are no reports of anyone fitting her description going back several years now. He even had pictures of her taken shortly after her arrival, so he can compare it to the pictures in those reports. Nothing. He supposes that it is not unheard of for missing children to slip through the cracks; the rural authorities in this area are not exactly known for their efficiency. 

Truthfully, Sesshomaru is ignoring the reality of what he is really doing by keeping her with him. He reasons with himself that her current life is an improvement to whatever life she had before. It is her decision to remain and he will allow it for as long as Rin wishes. After all, the girl is clearly enjoying her time at his mansion, and has made it clear many times over. 

It’s unnecessary to concern himself with hypothetical problems.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Almost 1.6k words, almost double the usual chapter size. I am sure you will be glad (?) to hear that the next 4 chapters are all a similar length. My apologies for the exposition this chapter, there was a lot to cover since the upcoming chapters are all dialogue/action heavy.
> 
> Thank you for all the comments!


	7. Friend

Rin’s eyes snap open at the first rays of pink sunlight lighting up her room. She jumps out of her futon, eager to get the day started. 

Afterall, today is a big day, one she has been looking forward to for the past week.

Rin quickly washes up in the basin, then she goes to the clothes she laid out the night before - she didn’t want to waste a single moment this morning. She puts on her dress, long socks, and the light jacket Jaken bought her - she is wearing it for the first time today. As Rin reaches the door downstairs, Jaken is there waiting and promptly starts complaining about her tardiness, so she hurriedly puts on her boots. 

Jaken leads the way to the car, muttering complaints as is his custom, when they see Mirume standing expectantly next to the car. Rin sees that she has two stacked bento boxes - ones that Rin helped prepare the night before - in her hands, and gestures for Rin to take them. Rin nods thankfully to her as she grasps the boxes, and continues to the car, where Jaken is waiting with the car door open impatiently. Once she is in the backseat of the car, she carefully sets down the bento boxes on top of a blanket in the seat right beside her. Satisfied, Rin claps twice, signaling to Jaken that she is ready to leave.

“Put on your seatbelt first! We’re not driving anywhere without it!” She quickly snaps her seatbelt into place, and Jaken turns to start the car. Suddenly, another wave of panic strikes Jaken, and he quickly turns back to face Rin. 

“The food! How are we going for a picnic without food?!”

Rin claps once, and when Jaken looks to see why she is demanding his attention, she lifts the bento boxes up for Jaken to see. He sighs and nods at her.

“Ah good, at least you remembered that much. Let’s go, we need to be back by lunch if I am to get any work done today.”

They drive off and the world speeds by Rin’s eyes. For the first time in what feels like ages, she leaves sight of her new home. A sad feeling begins to rise, as she remembers the home she used to have, a home with her parents and siblings, lost long ago. But it is okay, Rin is only going to see the cherry blossoms, and will be returning home soon. 

Jaken had promised, after all, to take her to see the cherry blossoms last week. The apple tree in the back of the garden had just flowered, and Rin excitedly showed the flowers to everyone in the house. Seeing her excitement, Kaguhana told her that somewhere near their house were hills full of cherry trees. Hearing Kaguhana describe them made Rin determined to see them herself. Seeing how excited Rin was, Jaken told her that if she passed his writing test, he would take her to see the blooming hills. She studied hard the rest of the week, not even playing or colouring at all. She studied all the way up to the time of the test, just two days ago. Jaken set the test in front of Rin, and then stood over her as she worked, keeping one eye on Rin, and the other on his watch. When Rin finished, Jaken started to look over her work. After what felt like an eternity later, Jaken looked up and nodded once, a sign that Rin had done well and that he would fulfill his promise. 

During dinner last night, Rin passed a note to Sesshomaru, asking him to come along to her picnic amongst the cherry trees, but he refused. He said that he needs to meet sur-ve-yors about fences, but Rin still wasn’t sure what those were. She was a little upset that Sesshomaru would not be joining them, but she told herself it would be fine. She would only be apart from Sesshomaru for half a day. Many days, she would not see him that long or even longer, so this was no different. 

Nodding to herself with newfound determination, Rin looks up from her lap to the window. The scenery is unfamiliar, yet it is just as beautiful as Kaguhana described - rows of pink trees with flower petals swirling around the sky. The scene is breathtaking; Rin couldn’t tear her eyes away. She presses her hands against the window to take a better look, but the car slows to a stop. Just then Jaken tells her that they have arrived. 

Rin undoes her seatbelt and opens the car door. She is immediately hit by a wonderful smell of cherry blossoms that smells exactly like her favourite candy. Laughter bursts from her lips as she leaps out the car, twirling around until she tumbles into the grass. 

Jaken sighs at Rin’s antics, and goes to the backseat to take out the bento boxes. Looking over to Rin, he decides to grab the blanket as well, steps over to where she is lying and tosses the blanket at her to carry. She picks herself up with the blanket in tow, and together Jaken and Rin make their way along the path of trees. However, the sweet smell overwhelms her once again, causing her to run ahead, dropping the blanket.

“Rin! Wait up, you stupid girl! Stay where I can see you!” 

But Rin is already far ahead and she cannot bring herself to care. Not right now. Not when the trees are so beautiful, full of little flowers, not when the entire ground is covered with pretty pink petals, not when the air smells like candy. 

First running among the cherry blossoms that seem to go on forever in the distance, and then rolling around in the heaping piles of petals that smell ever so sweet, the minutes fade into hours. Rin gathers a pile of fallen flowers in an effort to make flower crowns, but they keep falling apart. Jaken watches her from a distance but is quickly dozing off against a tree. Bored of her failed attempts to make a crown, Rin gathers an armful of petals in her jacket and carries them to where Jaken is, tiptoeing along the way. She tosses them high in the air above him, and they all land on Jaken, abruptly waking him up. As he shakes the flowers off of his head, Rin runs away, laughing madly. While Jaken awoke full of anger and outrage, spewing insults and threats, Rin sees that he tries to conceal his grin while he chastises her. 

When Jaken runs out of breath, he beckons for Rin to sit down and join him for food. They set up their picnic in the shade of the biggest tree they could find. Jaken hands Rin her bento box and she starts digging in, devouring everything. Rice, grilled fish, omelette, broccoli, raw carrots, pickled cabbage, and pickled plums. Rin makes a face when she picks up the pickled cabbage, and pushes it towards Jaken. He narrows his eyes in disapproval at her pickiness, but accepts it regardless, and he gives her his portion of strawberries in return. 

Eventually, the sun reaches the top of the sky, signalling the time to start heading home and Jaken tells Rin to head back to the car. Rin stomps her feet and pouts in protest, though it is half-hearted - she is tired, so she follows Jaken. On her way back, she decides to pick up a couple of branches of cherry blossoms so she can give them to Sesshomaru, so he could see how pretty they were and how nice they smelled. 

As they go down the hill, the car comes into sight. Her rush of adrenaline now over, a wave of fatigue hits Rin, so she starts lagging behind. Jaken enters the car snapping on his seatbelt, and looks down, distracted by something out of sight. Rin starts to cross the road to the car, when the sound of galloping hooves draws near her. 

Looking towards the sound, she sees a horse coming towards her. Fast. Too fast.

She cannot move.

The horse isn’t stopping and he’s getting closer and closer and isn’t slowing down but she can hear a voice she doesn’t know shouting to get out of the way and then from voices that she does know shouting her name and telling her to watch out or to move but she can’t do anything and the horse is almost there and her heart beats so fast and she closes her eyes really tight and draws her hands to her chest. 

Suddenly, she feels arms squeeze tightly around her, and wind moving around her, as if she is flying. She can still hear the hooves of the horse clacking against the pavement, but they’re slowing down as they’re fading away. She notices that the arms are holding her against a chest, and there is a heart pounding in that chest just as fast as her own. She can feel the breath puffing above her head. Hesitantly, she opens her eyes and looks up.

“Sesshomaru… sama...”

Sesshomaru looks down at her worried, but when he hears her speak, his face changes to surprise. Rin realises it’s because of her. She spoke. She hasn’t spoken in so long, that her voice sounds small and harsh at the same time, like it would when she had a cold.

“Rin…”

They stare in silence until she notices the galloping sound coming closer. When she turns away from him, she sees the horse coming back. She squeaks and hides her face in his shoulder and closes her eyes again, wrapping her arms tightly around him, willing the horse to go away. He will save her again from the horse, like he did just now.

“Taisho, what the hell is that kid doing on my property?”

“This hill is my property.” Sesshomaru spat back, she never heard him speak so harshly before. 

“Whatever, what the hell is she doing here? You shouldn’t let your children play around an open road, damn it, I’ve almost run her over!”

Rin can feel herself being slowly lifted off the ground and carried away. One of Sesshomaru’s arms around her leaves her back briefly, and the car door opens. Rin feels Sesshomaru settling down in the car, but just before the sound of a car door slamming, she can hear Jaken’s indignant shouting.

“Rin is not Sesshomaru-sama’s child! He’s barely out of his teenage years himself!”

“Hah, so the old man had one more bastard kid? I thought it was just that one annoying ass, but I guess the old man really liked spreading his-”

“Of course not, you boorish fiend! Sesshomaru-sama just found her and took her in! She used to live without any-”

“Jaken. We are leaving.”

“P... O-of course Sesshomaru-sama! Coming!”

She can hear footsteps approaching, and then the opening and closing of the car door. The car staring up, then silence as she feels the car moving.

Once the car stops, she can feel herself being carried out of the car. She hears a heavy door opening, feet moving on stairs, a sliding door open and close, and then she feels herself being slowly set on a soft fabric. Sesshomaru’s arms leave her, and without them, she feels cold and alone.

“Rin, open your eyes.”

She does as he says, and as she looks around her, she sees her bedroom, a bit blurry at first, then more clearly. She glances up at Sesshomaru's face and keeps looking at him. She was so scared about the horse, but he was there for her.

“You can speak.”

It’s not a question. She knows that he already knows that she can speak. She nods.

“Y-yes.” 

“Why did you not speak before?”

“After my p-parents…” The rest of the words get caught in her throat and she feels tears prickling at her eyes. 

“I see. Rest now, you must be tired. Come downstairs when you’re ready.” 

He stands to leave from the futon, looking towards the door. She panics, she doesn’t want him to leave her just yet.

“Wait.”

Sesshomaru pauses.

“Please. Please don’t leave me. Please.” 

He hesitates, and looks back at her, then kneels by the side of her futon.

“You are safe now.”

“I-I want you to stay.”

He looks surprised, but then slowly closes his eyes. He moves closer and lies down next to her on top of the futon, looking at the ceiling. She lies down as well, and matches his pose. She stays like that for a while, and the fatigue of the day and the stress of her fear catch up with her. Sleep almost takes her when she remembers something, something important...

“Thank you. For saving me.” It has been a long time since she trusted someone like she trusts him. “Thank you for being my friend...” 

Silence. Long enough that Rin thinks that he didn’t hear her, but eventually Sesshomaru responds. 

“Sleep, Rin.”

And she does.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I tried something different this time, narrating it from a child's perspective, so I kept the language more plain and the introspections to a minimum... Not a fan of how it turned out, but at least it moves the plot forward, and we're back to the normal writing style next chapter.
> 
> Thank you for all the comments - it makes me so happy to think people are reading and enjoying this story!


	8. Reality

Rin speaks - a lot. 

She speaks so much, that Sesshomaru is certain that she is determined to make up for all of the time she spent not speaking. He mostly ignores her questions and rambles, rarely acknowledging it, and it is a distraction to the point where it impacts his work, but he does not tell her to stop. He _tolerates_ her endless musings. 

Jaken has it far worse, bearing the brunt of Rin’s vocal renaissance. Rin pesters Jaken with her endless stories about her activities, her chores, the foods she helps cook or wants to eat, the games that she plays, the toys she plays or wants to play with, the flowers, plants, and animals that she encounters, her observations about the people around them, and the things around them. Questions long stored away in the recesses of her mind spill forth, from why there is a moon in the sky, or where the rain comes from, why do clocks exist, who gets to name flowers, how do computers work? They are all tedious yet answerable questions, and Sesshomaru lacks the time and patience required to answer them, but he still appreciates her inquisitive nature and finds it oddly endearing. Sesshomaru’s favourite question so far is “Why do you have no hair, Jaken-sama?” though “Jaken-sama, are you short because you didn’t get enough sleep when you were little?” is a close second.

Rin’s voice, giggles and laughter have become part of the estate’s tapestry, brightening everyone’s mood, making it feel more intimate and comfortable. Despite his better judgement, these are all sounds that Sesshomaru has come to expect in his house. 

This particular morning, Rin finds herself in Sesshomaru’s study. She is attempting to read her story books aloud - something she hasn’t tried before today. Her reading is slow, choppy, and strained. It is distracting enough to Sesshomaru that in order to focus on the land transfer agreement, he decides that he needs some distance between himself and Rin. Considering the current circumstances and the loudness of her voice, he estimates that he needs to go beyond the dining room to escape Rin’s reading, so he walks to the guest bedroom.

Finding silence at last, he is finally able to turn his full attention to the document in front of him - a sales agreement between himself and Yoro Koga that sells part of the Taisho property to the Yoro family, who have unknowingly been using it for decades for the production of cherries.

This particular problem arose a month ago, when Sesshomaru was looking at ways to maximize the value of the land available on his estate. His father foolishly gave away large portions of the land to charity, so Sesshomaru wanted a clearer picture of what land he could use to expand the tea farm. That is when he noticed that the cherry tree farm is one hill closer than what his estate boundary should be on the north side. After confirming it with Asano and Totosai, he has requested a meeting with Koga Yoro, the current owner of the farm. Koga agreed to have a surveyor determine the correct boundary between their properties, confident that Sesshomaru was mistaken. That particular appointment happened two weeks ago, where Sesshomaru and Koga set out with the land surveyor to the border between their respective farms, their land deeds at hand. After the surveyor confirmed Sesshomaru’s assumptions, Sesshomaru offered to sell the land for a fair price, though with the stipulation that Koga also make up for the loss of potential earnings that this land would have made over the past two decades.

Koga was predictably outraged at this development, as his choices were to tear down his cherry trees on this portion of land, or pay Sesshomaru an enormous sum of money. In the end he agreed to Sesshomaru’s demands, though he made his displeasure known - which Sesshomaru promptly ignored. Following the conclusion of this meeting, Koga angrily rode off on his horse.

Sesshomaru was driving back to his estate, when he noticed Jaken and Rin outside of Jaken’s car on the side of the road. Deciding to join them, Sesshomaru pulled over and stepped outside of the car, when he noticed that Koga was fast approaching, riding his horse recklessly in the middle of the road. When Sesshomaru turned around, he saw Rin frozen in the middle of the road, right in Koga’s path. Sesshomaru flew to Rin, grabbing her out of Koga’s path just in time. 

Sesshomaru was aware that Jaken had said too much; Koga must be making assumptions regarding Rin’s connection to himself. As retaliation for their land dispute, the vermin Koga would eagerly spread rumors of Rin being another illegitimate child of his father. Sesshomaru did not mind Koga’s childish fit, though he would not allow a second blight to his father’s reputation. To stay ahead of any rumors Koga might spread, Sesshomaru instructed Jaken and the Nintojo family to keep an eye on him, but for the past two weeks, there has been no new developments. 

Taking full advantage of his newfound peace and quiet, Sesshomaru finishes reviewing the sales agreement and adds his signature to the bottom of the last page, right below Koga’s, and adds the date. Satisfied, Sesshomaru slides open the shoji doors to the back garden to go for a stroll when he hears a knock on the door of his study. After answering, Mirume slides open the door and signals that he has guests, gesturing at two men waiting right outside.

Confused as to who these people were and what they could possibly want, Sesshomaru decides to meet them at the entrance - he will not allow pests onto his new tatami floors.

Stepping outside, he sees the two men standing by the genkai: one bald middle aged man with a stern face and a younger man who couldn’t be older than Sesshomaru himself. Sesshomaru instantly dislikes the pair: dressed in Western suits, cheap and ill-fitting, and wearing an attitude that reeks of self-righteousness. He decides to sort this out quickly, so he starts off the conversation. 

“Taisho Sesshomaru. I was informed you are looking for me.”

The older man speaks up. “Pardon our intrusion, Taisho-sama. My name is Hoshi Ungai and this is my colleague Komura Tetsuo.” His bow was brief, more akin to a nod, almost intending disrespect. “We are here from the Ongokuki Orphanage.”

“State your business.” He does not have a good feeling about this. 

“We are here because we were notified three days ago by the Chief Inspector in the village that there has been a report of a little girl you found recently on your farm.” He pauses, and looks closely for a reaction from Sesshomaru. 

When there is none, he continues. “I have checked with my subordinates at the orphanage, and a girl of ours has been missing for three months now…”

Still silent, Sesshomaru did not like where the conversation was headed.

“Taisho-sama, based on the description, we have reason to believe that the girl missing from our orphanage is the one you found. Our orphanage is right on the border of your-”

“I have seen no missing children reports for the past three months.”

The man avoids eye contact for a second, before recovering and continuing. “I am aware there hasn’t been one. It has been an oversight on our part. The girl has been known to run away for days at-”

“Why would the girl run away?”

“Taisho-sama, that is not the point here. The point here is that you are suspected of finding this girl and failing to report it to the local authorities. I am sure you must understand how it looks for a man to keep an 8-year-old girl. It is… unsavoury.” 

The thinly-veiled threat from this man is not lost on Sesshomaru, and his patience is being tested

“So you expect me to return her to a place where she keeps running away from?” Sesshomaru could not keep the glare away from slipping onto his face, or disgust from seeping into his voice. “Tell me, Ungai, are you aware of the state I found her in? These local authorities you speak of would be more than interested to hear the details of it.”

Ungai is slightly taken aback and quickly tries to pacify him. “Taisho-sama, please - that is not necessary. We have chosen to solve this peacefully between us. We are forever grateful for your late father’s donation of land for the orphanage, and my cousin Kaede has great respect for your mother’s regular contributions to-”

The younger man speaks up for the first time. “Taisho-sama, if you would like to keep the child, we would be happy to assist you with an application for her adoption or custody.”

_ Adoption? Custody? What the hell is he talking about? _

Sesshomaru suddenly realises the severity of the situation he is in. Of course they would think so. He provides for her, with shelter and food and clothes and books, and he is rather sure that those toys Jaken keeps buying must come from his funds too. But adoption? Parenthood is not something he desires at this point in his life, maybe ever. Especially not now, when his estate is still haemorrhaging money. No, he has more important matters that demand his attention. He couldn’t throw all of his efforts and ambitions away to be the father of a little girl. 

_ A father - now that thought is terrifying. _

Sesshomaru needs to think this through. He needs to get rid of these pests, but he cannot afford to involve the police and heaven  _ knows _ who else. Ungai mentioned that his cousin knows his mother, and if that frivolous old hag were to hear word of any of this, Sesshomaru has no idea how he would get out with his sanity intact. But Ungai also mentioned a cousin Kaede; that name rings a bell. This must be the same Kaede who was the head mistress of the boarding school that his mother attended and was a patron of. He has even met Kaede on several occasions, where she seemed wise and reasonable. Sesshomaru decides that he has the answer to his dilemma.

“I will discuss this matter with Kaede. You mentioned that she is your cousin - contact her and tell her I need to see her immediately. We can discuss Rin’s prospects after that.”

“Taisho-sama, this is not a-”

Sesshomaru ignores his pathetic bleating and turns to walk inside. Despite himself, he repeats his orders as he steps into his house. “Contact Kaede. Immediately.”

Just as the door closes, he sees Rin’s head peeking out of his study. He doesn’t need to ask if she heard - her eyes say more than enough. She dashes out of the study and passes him on her way to the stairs. She bolts up the stairs, and he watches her run along the second floor hallway towards her room, where she slams the door shut, rattling the foundation. Remorse slithers in his heart and he is surprised by the feeling as much as he is repulsed by it. 

He has no idea on what will happen next, but he knows one thing: he will not allow Rin to set foot in that wretched orphanage ever again.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Some delays with my editor, here you go guys!
> 
> Thank you for the comments, it is such a joy to read them and they really keep me going!


	9. Persuasion

Kaede arrives at Taishou estate that same day, shortly before lunch time. Upon her arrival, she insists on speaking to Rin - privately. Rin refuses to come out of her room to meet Kaede, so instead Kaede asks Mirume to bring lunch for herself and Rin. The old matron promptly takes the platter with their lunch and determinedly enters Rin’s room, where she remains for some time.

Kaede has yet to see Sesshomaru, because for the past several hours, Sesshomaru has been cooped up in his study with Jaken, locating and reviewing the deed for the land beneath the orphanage, and they were currently reviewing the document in question. His father has been uncharacteristically cautious in the agreement, as it had a clause specifying that the land is free for the use of the orphanage, as long as it is used solely for the benefit of the orphanage, and it remains in good operational state. The phrase “good operational state” causes Sesshomaru to smile, because Rin’s unreported absence for three consecutive months is enough for any judge to deem it as ‘not good’.

A loud knock on the door of his study jolts Sesshomaru out of his thoughts, and it opens immediately after, not waiting for a response. Kaede stands in the doorway to his office, and Sesshomaru looks over the matriarch of the boarding school that his own mother attended. From what he remembers, the woman must be well in her 60s, yet her stocky build makes her look older still. Her face is severe as she steps into his office uninvited, and Sesshomaru dismisses Jaken just as the latter starts going on a tirade about Kaede's lack of manners for bursting into the office. 

She moves to sit on the pillow on the other side of Sesshomaru’s low desk, across from him. After making herself comfortable, Kaede looks up to his face and is silent for a few seconds, before she finally addresses him.

“Sesshomaru-sama, it is good to see you so grown. How many years has it been?”

He has no time for this. “Spare me the pleasantries, Kaede.”

She huffs with a smile. “Typical. I have just spoken to your little friend. I am glad to-”

“She is not my friend.”

She grins at this, and doubles down. “Oh, that’s not what she told me. Rin insists you are her friend.”

Sesshomaru pointedly ignores the insult of being called the friend of a child, and decides to get straight to the point. He opens his drawers, taking out the photos Jaken took of Rin soon after her arrival at the estate. “Rin is 8 years old.” He flicks the photos across his desk to her, anger rising in his chest just from merely glancing at them. “And she looks like she is 5. This is how I found her.”

Kaede lifts the photos and flicks through them as he continues talking. “They told me you’ve seen her just now, the difference-”

“I know. She told me about the orphanage. It wasn’t an easy life for her, not ever since her parents died. That is, until she met you.”

“Then we agree. She will remain here.” At this, she sets down the photos on the desk and lifts her gaze to him.

“You’re ready to adopt her and become her father, then?”

Sesshomaru’s eyes narrow. He cannot say yes. That is not who he is, but he was hoping Kaede wouldn’t bring it up like the men from the orphanage did.

“Sesshomaru-sama, I know you are in a good position to provide financially for the child. She is well cared for in your house. She doesn’t lack for food, or clothes or toys…” he is about to speak up when she lifts her hand up to stop him from interrupting her. “But this child needs more. She needs an attentive parent that is there to satisfy her curious nature and that will give structure to her life. Set boundaries to what she should and shouldn’t do. More so, she needs an affectionate guardian, there to wipe her tears when she’s sad, kiss her forehead when she’s hurt, pat her head when she deserves praise, and hug her close every time she has a nightmare.” Her eyes look at him accusatory. “She needs someone she can call a family - not a friend.”

Sesshomaru knows this. He is painfully aware he cannot be that for Rin, but he decides to avoid stating it outright. He will not fall in Kaede's trap. “She will not find a family where she’s been before.”

Kaede takes a deep breath, and her voice lowers, her speech slows. “Perhaps. The girl has a happy existence here. But she needs to do more than just exist - she needs to thrive, Sesshomaru-sama. She is smart, perceptive but outgoing. And yet, she is wary of people at first. She worries about talking too much, and being a bother. Rin needs somewhere she can get used to living comfortably amongst others, amongst equals.”

“Before all else, Rin needs to be fed, something which they failed to do.”

“I understand your concerns. I will pay a visit to the orphanage and see what Ungai is doing wrong. My niece just finished her university studies - she loves children and intends to work there. Under her care, the orphanage will surely-”

His next words seep into the air like poison, cold and unforgiving. “The orphanage left her nothing but skin and bones.”

Kaede is taken aback by his outburst, but seems determined to pacify him. “I understand, and it is regrettable that it took this incident for us to realise the state of the orphanage. But it will be addressed, Sesshomaru-sama.”

“I will not hold my breath. Rin is missing nothing here. She is not merely existing as you say, she has plenty of interactions with others. Kagunana teaches her how to care for plants, Mirume teaches her how to cook, Jaken teaches her how to read. Rin is very fond of Jaken, actually.”

Kaede chuckles, and continues with a knowing smile. “So you expect Rin to be raised by your employees? Employees that go home at the end of the day, when their shift is over.”

“I am still here.”

“Yes, you are. But tell me this Sesshomaru-sama - is your mere presence enough for Rin to grow into a healthy adult? She says you barely even speak to her.”

“What is there to speak to her about? She is a child.”

She closes her eyes slowly and remains silent for a moment, before abruptly glaring to him. “Children need speaking to, and this child more than others. Trust my knowledge and good judgement Sesshomaru-sama. Is that not why you wanted to see me?”

_I thought you would be able to see the sense in Rin remaining here, but instead, you are determined to nit-pick at things you shouldn’t concern yourself with._

Sesshomaru knows Kaede is right. Rin needs parents, but the orphanage is not that. He opens the top drawer of his desk again, and retrieves a folder, making a show of leaning back, and slowly taking out the papers inside, flicking through them, completely ignoring Kaede. The tension between them is palpable, and he keeps it that way until he feels Kaede is about to interrupt the silence, but he does it instead.

“I will not allow Rin to be taken back to that orphanage. Or any other orphanage.” His eyes peer down at her as he leans back in and shoves the papers - land deeds to the orphanage - towards her. “Even if I have to shut down the orphanage.”

Kaede leans in and scans the title page with her eyes, without even lifting the document. The meaning of it is not lost on her, everyone who was someone around the area knew it was his father’s money that had that orphanage built. It was Sesshomaru's last resort, but he knew he had the power in his hands now. Silence hangs heavy between them once more and a good minute passes. She pushes the papers back towards him and finally speaks again. 

“How about this instead. I will become Rin’s guardian myself. Place her under my direct care at the boarding school.”

This is not one of the answers that Sesshomaru expected. His first instinct was to dismiss such a ridiculous suggestion, but something in the back of his mind latches on to it and he pauses, contemplating this scenario. 

A Catholic boarding school for girls from wealthy families, under the guardianship of the headmistress. Kaede was a stern woman, but from the comments that he recalls his mother made of Kaede, she must be fond of children. She cared enough to introduce scholarships at the school for many girls from modest backgrounds - his own mother provides the funds for it. The living conditions at the school were decent - he attended its male counterpart for 7 years of his life. With Kaede and her niece as a family, and friends her own age from school, Rin will find herself at home.

_What are the alternatives?_

He will not allow Rin to return to that orphanage. He does not trust Ungai and his negligent employees with the wellbeing of Rin; he vividly remembers the malnutrition, the dirt, the smell of Rin when he first met her. And even if they manage to pull themselves together, who knows whether Rin would be adopted, and he certainly doesn’t trust strangers to be good parents for her. Adopting her himself is out of the question. In fact, he has no idea how to raise a child, and the thought of it is horrifying, even more so when he realises that if he fails, he will fail Rin. Suddenly, the weight of this responsibility feels heavier than managing any estate ever could be.

_I cannot do this._

For the first time in his life, Sesshomaru is forced to admit that he simply lacks the ability to do what he wants. 

_No_ , he corrects himself. _I simply do not want to do it._

He needs to work with Kaede’s proposition.

“Where would she live? You say she needs a family, but a room in a boarding school is hardly going to give her that.” 

He already knows that voicing this particular thought is hardly any argument at all. His own parents left him in boarding schools for most of his life, his only respite were the brief summer breaks he would spend with his mother in this country or that. 

“I have a home on campus. Rin will live there with me and my niece.” Kaede softens her voice, her voice resembling that of a mother pleading with her child. “Sesshomaru-sama, Rin will be well cared for.”

Sesshomaru can feel his heartbeat quicken, and he needs air. Standing up from his desk, he moves across the room, opening the sliding doors to the back garden. It is a while before he speaks again, but when he does, his voice is more authoritative than it usually is. He knows his priorities.

“I will need to confirm it myself. I will require regular visits to ensure she is adequately cared for.”

“Sesshomaru - who do you think I am?!” He is taken aback that she would raise her voice and drop his honorific, but he quickly recovers.

“She was in the care of strangers before, and they failed her.” 

“You forget that you are a stranger too, Sesshomaru-sama. I assure you that I find the girl endearing. You should know by virtue of who I am that I would not mistreat a child.” 

Sesshomaru remains silent, unmoved by her words.

Kaede eventually concedes. “One phone call a month.”

“Lunch. Me, Jaken and the girl. The land under the orphanage will be all but forgotten.” ”

“You will pay for her boarding fees and living expenses. Oh, and a full scholarship for one additional girl of my choosing, each year.” Sesshomaru deduces that Kaede must think that she drives a hard bargain, but money is of no consequence to him in these circumstances.

“Then we have an agreement, Kaede. And speak to your cousin, your niece, whatever. Get that orphanage in good working order.” 

“No need to worry about it. It has escaped my notice long enough, but I believe it is time for Ungai to take a long holiday, and for the rest of the family to clean up his mess.”

Silence falls between them and it is during this time that it suddenly dawns on him.

_This is it. Rin is leaving._

He abruptly speaks up. “Rin will remain here until you have her legal guardianship.”

This seems to surprise Kaede a bit but she chuckles again and nods. “You are almost as cunning as your mother. Very well then, I will take care of the legal matters with Ungai.” She slowly begins to stand, and he hears her walk towards the door, but after she slides open the door, she speaks again. “You speak to the girl - make sure she won’t run away once I take her. She has a history-”

“Make sure she has no reason to run away and she will not. I will see to it.”

She hums in something resembling agreement. “Good day, Sesshomaru-sama. I will be in touch.”

Sesshomaru has a feeling that the talk with Rin will not go as smoothly as he just made it sound.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Your comments are so flattering, there are not enough words of thanks for me to type here. Just a forewarning, get your tissues ready for next chapter.


	10. Inadequacy

Sesshomaru is too busy to see Rin.

After Kaede and Ungai leave, he decides to call on Asano to go through all the list of employees on their farm, and ensure that they have an up to date signed contract for all of them. After that, he reviews the plumbing in the house plans - the house is old; fitted with only a toilet downstairs and a small bathhouse on the other side of the garden. Sesshomaru is still working through the documents when a knock from the sliding doors breaks his focus. After he answers, the doors open to reveal Rin, her sight glued to her feet.

“Sesshomaru-sama. Dinner is getting cold.” Her voice is unusually serious and solemn, a strange sound to his ears.

“Go ahead and eat. I am busy.”

Her answer comes out as barely more than a whisper. “Sesshomaru-sama should not skip meals.”

Sesshomaru really did not want to eat. Not because he was not hungry, or because he was busy, though both were true. The real reason for his avoidance is entirely different. He could not bring himself to face those eyes. Those eyes which had always looked to him in adoration or excited curiosity, but were now empty, always looking towards the floor, or his desk, or the wall behind him. Anywhere but him. 

Sesshomaru wanted to avoid Rin’s company like she wanted to avoid his face.

But he is aware that this could not last forever. Mentally bracing himself, he stands from his desk, and joins her in the dining room. They have dinner in silence, never once locking eyes. It has not been this silent since she started speaking again two weeks ago, and he has grown used to the incessant talking and questions and giggles. Was it just his imagination, or were there songs too?

When they finish, Rinstarts gathering the dishes as per usual, but when she reaches Sesshomaru, he stills her hands with his own.

“Rin, we need to speak.”

She still avoids his gaze as she responds. “I don’t want to speak.”

At this, he lifts an eyebrow. “Why not?”

“You want to talk about those men... From the orphanage.” She turns her head away from him, but not before the tears gathering in her eyes make themselves known to him. _He_ cannot escape _them_. When she speaks again, it is barely more than a whisper. “You want to send me back.”

“I am not going to send you to the orphanage.” He says this forcefully, which surprises Rin into looking at him for the first time this evening, her eyes wide and anxious.

“Then why are you sad, Sesshomaru-sama?” 

Of course she noticed something was off. Sesshomaru mentally curses her perceptiveness. His face remains emotionless as he speaks his next words, but inside he is crumbling. But he could not allow Rin to notice that. He will remain steadfast, making his motivations clear. He needs to steel his resolve, unwavering like a mountain. He is unwilling to become a father.

“I cannot keep you here, Rin. I cannot raise you.”

“What does that mean…? Why not?!” Her lower lip and chin start quivering, and her tears are threatening to spill over. Her firsts come up to rest on the table and glares at him, for the first time since he’s known her pinning him with such an angry expression on her usually sweet face. 

Sesshomaru would not budge on this, and remained taciturn. In her frustration, Rin raises her voice at him. “I want to stay with you!” But again, silence was all Sesshomaru would respond with. Her next words came out as a soft plea, making her sound small and pathetic to his ears. “Did I do something wrong? Did I upset you? Please - I will be good...” Her eyes close, and tears spill forth, her face scrunched up, as if in pain. She is pleading to his soul, which up until this moment, he was unaware he had. “A-anything. I will do anything, Seshomaru-sama…”

The absurd and ridiculous truth is that Sesshomaru also wants her to stay. He has come to enjoy her presence like he has never enjoyed anyone else’s, her smiles, laughter, her humming and light singing. Her pure adoration of him, however undeserving he was of any of it - forever etched into his subconscious. But he cannot be selfish, because if he keeps her by his side, it will not be too long before she will be ruined. She needs attention, affection, warmth. She needs a family, and he doesn’t know how to be that for her. 

_Or worse, I don’t want to be that for her, or for anyone else._

But he cannot tell her that. Rin is too young to understand. Perhaps one day when she is older, when she will understand the weight of responsibility of another life, then he will tell her about his own selfishness and inadequacy. 

For now, he only needs to get her to accept his decision.

“The lady you had had lunch with today - Kaede - she has offered to take you in. She has a school not too far away from here, and you will live with her.” Despite his best attempts to be gentle about it, her tears continue to cascade down her face, and she is sobbing, her chest heaving, her shoulders shaking. He tries his best to ignore it, marching forward with his words, half attempting to assuage her pain.

“She even has a niece, and there will be other girls your age you can play with... Friends your own age.” He awaits another denial, pleading, even a tantrum. But her shoulders slowly stop shaking, sobs no longer leaving her mouth. He is met with silence, but tears keep spilling down her face. Her face raises slowly, and the eyes that stare into his own are hopeless.

Rin is heartbroken. 

Sesshomaru feels a new emotion - remorse - coiling around his chest. But this is not about him. This is about Rin. He refuses to allow any emotion show through his carefully cultivated mask.

“I will ensure you will have everything you need.”

She doesn’t respond for another minute, and he thinks he will not hear another word from her tonight, until a small whisper pierces his soul, and tramples all over his ego.

“When are you kicking me out?” The accusation in her words and her tone is not subtle, as expected of someone her age, but decides to ignore it. His guilt is already eating away at him; he refuses to add indignation to the mix.

“They told Jaken the paperwork will take about a week. They will let us know.”

She straightens her back and lets her arm fall back to her side, then nods with as much dignity and grace as she could muster. With her face stained with tears, she stands and leaves the room without another word. 

Finally alone, Sesshomaru’s face falls into his hands.

Her face and tears return to him in his sleep that night, and haunt him for a long time to come.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> There you go, we're almost halfway through the worst part.
> 
> Thank you so much for all your kind comments as always, I am worried that the flattery will start to get to my head!


	11. Goodbye

Over the following week, Sesshomaru rarely sees Rin outside of their meals, which are eaten in sullen silence. She stops practicing her reading and writing, and he rarely sees her playing by herself, instead choosing to spend her time tailing Jaken, Mirume or Kaguhana. Kaguhana allows Rin to cut off all the early blooms for her flower crowns and bouquets, and as a result, the flowers in the back garden have halved in number. Mirume cooks Rin’s favourite dishes and all the treats she adores to eat - the house constantly smelling of baked goods. Jaken has been hit particularly badly by the news of Rin leaving, and has been spending the past week spoiling her and catering to her every whim. 

One of Rin's wishes was that for her last day at the estate, she would get to spend the day out on a picnic by the river , an opportunity to say goodbye to everyone, as it was the last time Rin would be with them for a long time. Of course, Jaken and the Nintojos humoured her and planned an outdoor barbeque with much excitement from everyone involved. Sesshomaru was not invited. At first Sesshomaru decided it was undeserving of his attention, and he would not dwell on it, but tonight as he eats dinner by himself in the dining room, overlooking the sunset, he cannot help but wonder if this is retribution - Rin’s punishment for banishing her from his life. 

_ Tomorrow, she will leave this house. _

He retires for sleep, and reviews the house renovations plans in his futon, when he hears a car pulling into the driveway, and voices downstairs. After some time he hears footsteps coming up the stairs, heading towards Rin’s room, and after a while he overhears Rin saying goodnight to Mirume. 

Sesshomaru returns his attention to the house plans, and just as he is once again able to focus on his task at hand, he hears the door to Rin’s room open, then silence. Minutes pass, and he decides to ignore it, when he hears a light knock on his doors. He responds with a resounding “Yes” and slowly one of the doors opens, revealing Rin in her pijamas, looking apprehensively towards him. Silent.

“Rin. Do you need something?”

“Sesshomaru-sama… I want... C-Can I sleep here tonight?”

Seshomaru stares at Rin in silence for a few moments, considering this. He closes his folder and sets it on the side of his futon. He moves slightly to the side, then lifts the blanket and nods at her.

She steps gingerly inside the door, closing the door behind her, then dashes towards the futon, sliding under the covers, yet facing away from him. 

Sesshomaru adjusts the blanket on top of her, and gets comfortable on his own side, facing her back, debating whether to say something. If she is in his room, she must want to spend some time with him before she leaves, yet she is stubborn and will not speak or even face him. Sesshomaru is well aware that he cares for the girl, and Rin adores him, so he should not allow this to be their goodbye. Truth be told, he is inexplicably offended by her elusive and distant behaviour towards him in the past week. His pride would only be further damaged if he were to be the first one to speak, but even as he thinks it through now, he is enraged by how childish his own thoughts sound. He is a grown-up, he will speak. 

“Rin. Is there something you want to tell me?”

“No?” Her head turns slightly towards him but when she sees he is looking at her, quickly looks away. After another moment of silence, she adds as an afterthought. “I just want to sleep here.”

“Why?”

Silence is her only response, and he is about to simply give up and sleep, when he hears sniffles and sees her shoulders shaking with strain. 

_ This is the last thing I need. _

He hesitates at first, but slowly moves closer to her and envelops her shoulders with his arm, his head coming to rest just behind hers.

“I’m sorry Rin.”

At this, her cries spill forth and she starts sobbing hopelessly. His eyes close, as he tightens his hold on her. He can feel her turn around, and he retracts his arm, thinking she plans to dash to her room. Instead, she scoots closer and wraps her arms tightly around the wide of his chest, settling the side of her face against his chest. Sesshomaru is taken aback, the girl has never been so eager for physical touch. He is not physically affectionate by nature, and is somewhat uncomfortable with such displays. He is dumbfounded, but realising that this is her way of saying goodbye, he concedes and decides to indulge her just this once. He tells himself that this is for her sake, but the unpleasant truth is that for the past week he has been avoiding to think about the topic of her departure. He couldn’t bring himself to think about her feelings or worse - his own: his guilt, his selfishness, and his inadequacy at providing her with the love and care she needs. 

As Rin’s warmth slowly envelops him and he finds some comfort in it, Sesshomaru reluctantly wraps his arm around her shoulders once more, bringing her closer, holding her against his body. Almost unconsciously, he begins slowly rubbing his hand in soothing motions across her back. He realises now that this little slip of a human is more precious to him than anyone else in his entire life, and he is unable to figure out when it even started, realising it only when it was too late to stop it. It has only been a few months, and he spent most of them ignoring her or spending his time with her in silence, discreetly watching her play and laugh and smile - and now her smiling face is forever etched into his memory. Mournfully, he realises that there is no way to remove her from his heart, and he hopes that with enough time and distance between them, his strange affection for her will subside. This too shall pass.

Rin squeezes Sesshomaru’s chest tighter and slowly, her cries die out, her sobbing subsides. Hesitantly, she nuzzles her face into his chest and takes deep breaths and Sesshomaru feels the need to take calming breaths of his own to aid him in suppressing his own emotions, now threatening to spill over. Sesshomaru cannot recall ever feeling this vulnerable before in his life, and he inadvertently falls into a melancholy of his own childhood memories, when he last experienced similar feelings, albeit of a lesser intensity. 

They lie in silence for a long time and judging by Rin’s rhythmic breathing, Sesshomaru is certain that she is asleep, until she speaks once more, her voice barely more than a whisper.

“Will I ever see you again?”

A gasp escapes him as he is taken aback by her question. Her question makes sense as he comes to the realisation that he failed to tell her he would visit her. 

_ Was she afraid she would never see me again?  _

“I will visit you. Both me and Jaken. I will ensure that you will have everything you need or want.”

At this, Rin looks up at him with a pout and Sesshomaru feels exposed as her swollen eyes search his own. “Just not staying with you.”

He breaks eye contact and takes another deep breath to steady himself. He moves his hand down to her lower back, then slowly up to her head and he strokes down her unruly hair. 

“This is for your own good, Rin. You will grow up to be a better person this way.”

Her eyebrows furrow and she eyes him with suspicion. “I don’t understand.”

“I know you don’t, but you will one day. For now, you just have to trust me.” Sesshomaru brings his head down and leans his head against hers, closing his eyes. Her hair smells like soap and pine trees and fainty of burnt wood from her picnic earlier. Rin squeezes him a bit tighter and hesitates to speak her next words.

“If I don’t like it…”

He opens his eyes at this, and states with more certainty than he ever felt about anything in his entire life. “If there is anything wrong, I will intervene.”

Rin accepts his words and nods, but her eyes stare into his own, as their foreheads remain pressed together, and Sesshomaru cannot last long under her scrutiny. He brings his head up, so his chin rests on top of her head, and she snuggles closer into his chest once more. 

“Do I have to stay there forever?”

He allows himself a little smile at this and thinks it through. “Only until you’re an adult, I suppose. Then you are free to go anywhere you like.”

“Can I come back here?”

“You can always come back home.” Sesshomaru says this with conviction, but as he voices it, he wonders if this statement is meant to reassure Rin or himself.

He feels Rin nod into his chest, and he realises how strange the use of the word word home is. Wondering when he started to see this house as his home, he loses track of time and only when he hears deep, steady intakes of breath does he realise that Rin fell asleep. Loosening his hold on her, he twists slightly so he can lie on his back, but keeps his arm around her, holding her to his side. She stirs lightly but quickly settles once more in her sleep. He closes his eyes and tries to sleep, but even as he dreams, he cannot escape her.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> My apologies for the long delay, hit something of a writer's block, mostly because I have been tempted by a new idea. Trying my best to stick to this one for now, will let you know how that goes!
> 
> Hope you enjoy it, do let me know how you feel about the story so far, as we're about to start the next arc!


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